Posts Tagged ‘cabbages’

Hello and welcome. My garden journal is published on Friday or Saturday and you can read my latest post by scrolling down. The Wednesday Hotchpotch – is an eclectic blend of articles about the southwest of England, features of artists and artisans, experiments in frugal living, random photographs and anything else that catches my eye. I hope you enjoy it!

This article is very much tongue-in-cheek and no gastropods were harmed in the writing of this piece.


The pursuit of gardening lends us the time to ponder and ask questions. The chore of hoeing the vegetable patch is a meditative practice. Inevitably though there are some questions that are beyond fathoming. The human mind can only cope with so much. Subjects such as the nature of God, quantum physics and how my wife manages to knit, talk and watch television at the same time; such truths are simply beyond us.

There has always been one question that has vexed me though as I have hoed the cabbage rows. If I lob a snail or slug over the garden wall, will the said hungry beast return? Does it have a homing instinct? Or will it stay there and devour my neighbours’ prize cabbages?

Amazingly this question that has haunted me for so many years has been answered! Miss Ruth Brooks, a 69 year old grandmother from Devon, won an award for her research into the homing instinct of a snail. She found that they easily find their way back home if they are only removed by 30 metres and probably need to be moved 100 hundred meters or more to ensure they never return.

I have paced it out and I have found that my slugs have to be lobbed a fair few gardens away for them not to return. This is too far to throw so I have resorted to an ingenious piece of technology. It is called an enormous catapult. I find that the slug fits nicely into the pouch and one huge fling and the said slug sails through the air to pastures new.

And now life seems so much simpler with this new-found truth of mine. But sadly as soon as one question is answered then another one comes to take its place. I now find myself wondering if my aerobatic slugs and snails are suffering whilst in transit. Do they suffer concussion when landing on my neighbours cabbages? Do they experience g-forces or acrophobia or even vertigo? Life is indeed a journey of endless ponderings.


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